• 9.
    The Quad Laser
    It's a little known fact, but if you meet someone with a head that fits on your own head like a puzzle piece, you can shoot lasers together.
  • 8.
    And Now, We Burgle
    Hate to say it, but we've been pulled in by the old offers-of-urine-soaked-necklaces gambit too many times to remember.
  • 7.
    The Mooninites Steal Carl's Porn
    The more we learn about forensic science, and just life in general, the less we want to have anything to do with someone's pre-owned pornography.
  • 6.
    Digital Nards
    Apart from being square, that's a healthy looking set of nards. We'll be the first to say this principal has nothing to be ashamed of.
  • 5.
    Bad Glaucoma
    The food service and film crew industries have very few cases of butt crack cancer. It's true, look it up.